Today I read the book "The No Asshole Rule" (building a civilized workplace and surviving one that isn't) by Robert J. Sutton, PhD.
This was interesting book. And long overdue, at least for me. In all my hot headedness I fail to be able to constructively deal with assholes in the workplace.
I don't do well when confronted by jerks. I don't retract into a corner, yet I fail to deal with assholes in a way that is productive for me.
Lately I seem to be in need of "honing" my skills with this particular group.
You see, I get too emotionally involved in the situation. Exactly what a manipulator wants, I suppose.
I take my job seriously. And I take pride on doing it well.
I see my job as an organism that should strive toward a common goal: productivity. I know how to do my job, and in my world you are either an asset or a liability. If you are an asshole and dealing with your shit takes time away from what I should be doing either because you are making noise my way or because I have been called to mediate your asshole-ness; then you are a liability.
More than an annoyance, you need to "be reapproached" so I can continue on my way.
But often my anger and reactions leave me drained. Assholes hinder my productivity and it pisses me off.
This book is not a meek self help book for the chronically bullied. It is packed with statistical references and studies from a management science perspective on the reason why this type of behavior is detrimental to organizational and personal success. It also gives "coping" skills for those unfortunate enough to be trapped in an asshole dominated workplace. But this part is confined to one chapter of the book.
The rest of the book uses social psychology and a sound business approach to dissect what usually is an emotionally laden subject.
Out of all of the "Forbes" lists and PhDs and fancy experts this book cites, the most sound piece of advice this book gives the corporate victim of assholes is : "You are allowed to walk out."
It seems trivial and even condescending to mention something like that. But keep in mind that from childhood we have been conditioned to obey the parent, obey the teacher, obey those whose "authority" has been forced upon us -- so much so that, as adults, we tend to overlook the fact that we can always walk away.
This book also gives some sound advice to those enslaved by assholes:
- Do everything you can to limit your contact with the worst people.
- Go to as few meeting with the known asshole as possible.
- Answer inquires from them as slowly and rarely as you can and
- When you can't avoid them, keep the meetings short.
Further it even gives the reader tips from POWs on how to endure the most traumatic of situations.
Overall, this was a very good read. However, if you are looking for a "Dr. Phil" approach to dealing with work bullies, if you want a warm and fuzzy read that will lull you into complacency: this ain't it. As a matter of fact this book with leave you cold and dry begging for a warm fire and Kumbaya.
But if you prefer a more clinical approach to dissecting the motivations of assholes in the workplace, you will enjoy this easy read.
(yeah, I still need yoga and men pen lai- I haven't forgotten)
